Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Love and Charity

Oh, I was going to tell you about a backpacking trip I took, but I'm just not going to right now.  Instead, I'm going to close my eyes and type without thinking.  Can I do that?  There's nothing there in my head.  It's empty.  I was busy today and I'm done.  Oh, there was nothing exciting happening, but I just feel done.  You know, that happens when you start your day at 5:30 in the morning.  By 10:09, the energy just isn't there, no matter what went on during the day.

This morning, I woke up dreaming about how I was in a movie about an insomniac. I didn't like this movie because the script writers changed me into a man and made me miserable and divorced.  Mike thought it was funny.  Paul Giamatti.  Really?  I'm going to be portrayed by Paul Giamatti? 

I tell you, I need a pair of ear plugs right here by the computer so I can't hear the infernal television while I'm trying to work.  Why didn't I work while everyone was at work and school today?  Don't know.  Just didn't.

Yup, you're just going to have to wait for the backpacking stories.  I'm going to go sit and watch TV. 


Well, that didn't work either.  I either want to get to it or go to bed.  Now, I've got my ear plugs firmly squeezed into my ears and I can barely hear the commercials when they raise the volume to get your attention.  Isn't that illegal anyway? 

I did manage to burst into tears in front of Nick's fifth grade teacher today. Can you believe that? I hate those days when I do that. See, I'd dropped the boys off at school. Then I got a hair cut. I can't tell you how much better I feel, like I don't have to put on a baseball cap every time someone walks into the room. Then, I figured I'd stop by at the elementary school to drop off box tops the middle school doesn't use and to donate money. See, the janitor there is a wonderful guy, cheerful, helpful, and he really claims that school and the kids as his own. The wooden floors just gleam under his care.   In the morning, his habit is to stand at the main entrance to say hello before he gets back to work.  Kids running past him give him high fives and scream hi as they bolt around the corner.  Sometimes kids just grab him around the waist and hug him.  So, the sad part is that he found out over the summer that he has leukemia and the kids decided to contribute to help cover his medical expenses. I was feeling pretty good about dropping in a twenty dollar bill, but then the receptionist said that one kid emptied his piggy bank into the bottle and it totalled $246! Can you believe that? I'm telling you, this is no ordinary janitor. These kids accumulated over a thousand dollars in just one day. Can you see what kind of man this is?  Incredible.  Love and charity go together, you see.

No that's not why I cried. That would have been a good reason.

I was just about to leave when Nick's teacher grabbed me and said he had a book I'd loaned the class.  I couldn't remember which one it was, but I walked with him to get it.  It was Benjamin Franklin, by Enid LaMonte Meadowcroft.  Don't recognize it?  Don't feel too badly.  It's a Scholastic book printed in 1962.  I tried to tell him I was so glad to get that book back.  I clutched it to my chest. 

"My favorite teacher gave me this book," I said.  I tell you, I never know when to stop talking. 

"She was this great big woman.  She kind of looked like a battle axe."  Did I really just say that? 

"She seemed so mean on the first day of school, telling us about her rules for us students, but by the end of the year, I just knew that, that, ..."  Then I paused, trying to take a steadying breath.

"She loved me." 

And then I burst into tears.   Oh man, I hate crying in front of people I don't know very well.  He was very nice to me as I tried to walk quickly out of his classroom, saying that he had teared up when he talked to his class about the janitor and his plight.  Then, I had a fresh wave of tears.  This poor man in front of me.  I imagine he didn't know what to do with me.  I told him a quick thanks and bolted. 

I hate being the crazy lady.

Thank you for listening, jb

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