Sunday, December 18, 2016

A Bad Kitten Mom

I'm a month behind in my kitten story. Sorry about that. I'm going to try to catch up, but it's like trying to catch a leaf on the current of a river, always moving downstream.

As it is, I still have to put together Mike's Demotivators calendar before Christmas. Can you make up any rude holidays I should have in it? I could use some help with that. I'm tempted to leave the whole calendar blank after January 20, Inauguration Day, like the end of the world.

But you didn't come here for the end of the American government as we know it. You came here for kittens. Who doesn't need kittens when democracy is flushing down the toilet?

So, I was excited and nervous for kitten day. We had called to schedule another visit and they called back an hour later and told us we could pick him up tonight. He was two pounds and one ounce, big enough for flea meds. I wanted to get him right then, but I volunteered at school and Nick and I had a meeting after school. I couldn't see going to get him, dropping him off at home in the spare bathroom, and then leaving him alone for five hours, even if he did have blankies, a water dish, food, and a brand new litter box in it.

I never did tell you about the three trips to Petco. The first time, I spent over a hundred dollars. I lost track the second two times. I did not want to know. Plausible deniability, you know. There was the cat pheromone stuff you plug into an outlet to make all the cats happy, Feliway. There was a grassy-smelling additive to attract a kitten to a new litter box, Cat Attract. I bought one of those heating pads that I could never quite tell was working. I get that it can't be too warm, but I had to pile blankets and pillows on it to feel the heat collecting. And in the cool spare bathroom, it was as if it was a shade warmer than the inside of my refrigerator. So, I piled a bunch of blankets onto the heating pad. And there were two little cat beds and toys and a travel carrier. I didn't buy the warm teddy bear with the heartbeat for him to snuggle with. Should I have bought the warm teddy bear with the heartbeat?

I bought at least five kinds of toy  mice. Who needs five kinds of toy mice?

A kitten called Eli/Blitz/Yeager.

Who knew which mouse he would like?

So finally, we finished with our work and headed out pick up the kitten. Shy kitten, terrified kitten, lonely kitten. We absolutely had to make the little guy comfortable. It wouldn't be possible that first night, but how long would it take?

Can you believe that I got everything set up, cat litter and all, and forgot to buy food? So, before we could stop for the kitten, we had to make one more stop at Petco.

What kind of kitten mom am I going to be if I can't remember to buy him food?

Thank you for listening, jb

Monday, December 12, 2016

A Letter to the Electors of the Electoral College

There are just a few days left before you, the electors of the electoral college, do your job. It's an important job.

The question is whether you, as a serious arm of the government, will allow a man to become President who doesn't actually want to become President of the United States, a man who will not take this job seriously, a man who wants to dissolve many critical departments of the government, a man who stated that he wants to make a profit while in office, a man who will not honor the Constitution.

Political differences being what they may be, even staunch Republicans can see that this man does not honor the Constitution. Trump threatens to revoke citizenship of people who protest using their right to free speech. He tweets insults at heads of governments of foreign countries. He's assigning a nightmare staff to his council, people who vow to defund and deflate the very departments they've been assigned to lead. He doesn't even attend security briefings, saying he's smart enough to do the job without them. Being smart and having information are two wildly different things.

Is this what we want in a leader? No, as a majority, we didn't vote for this man. More than 2.8 million more people voted for Hillary Clinton than for Trump. Is this what you, the electors, want for us, your people?

Trump wants to run a reality TV show instead of doing his job!

Let's just say that again: Trump wants to run a reality TV show instead of doing the work of being President of the United States.

These last few days before you make your final vote, the protest should be its loudest. Have you heard us?

We have marched in protest. We have written to Senators, to Congressmen, to the electors of the electoral college yourselves. We have avidly followed the New York Times, the Washington Post, CNN, and BBC articles about Russian influences on the election. Granted, the results of these investigations will not be complete by December 19th, the day you must do your job.

What more can we do to let you know that you are about to make a momentous decision? It is one that will follow each of you for the rest of your lives, one that may easily affect your grandchildren's freedoms and way of life.

Again, look at what Trump is doing:
  • He doesn't want to live in the White House, preferring to spend a million dollars a day of the government's money on the security required to protect him elsewhere.
  •  He only attends one of five security briefings.
  •  He tweets complaints about comedy impersonations as well as foreign leaders at 3am.
  •  He is delegating work to his staff, a group of people who seemed to have been chosen for their hatred of the departments they have been chosen to lead.  
  • He makes threats to protestors that go directly against the First Amendment of our Constitution. 
  • He has stated that he wants to make a profit while being President.
  • He wants to run a reality TV show while he's in office. 
  • He has no intention of separating his business affairs from his political ones and has included the leaders of his companies in private meetings with foreign leaders.
We didn't vote for him. If he becomes President of the United States, it's only because you did. So think about what you're about to do.

Trump doesn't want to live in the White House. Please vote to make that so.

Thank you for listening, jb