Sunday, December 18, 2016

A Bad Kitten Mom

I'm a month behind in my kitten story. Sorry about that. I'm going to try to catch up, but it's like trying to catch a leaf on the current of a river, always moving downstream.

As it is, I still have to put together Mike's Demotivators calendar before Christmas. Can you make up any rude holidays I should have in it? I could use some help with that. I'm tempted to leave the whole calendar blank after January 20, Inauguration Day, like the end of the world.

But you didn't come here for the end of the American government as we know it. You came here for kittens. Who doesn't need kittens when democracy is flushing down the toilet?

So, I was excited and nervous for kitten day. We had called to schedule another visit and they called back an hour later and told us we could pick him up tonight. He was two pounds and one ounce, big enough for flea meds. I wanted to get him right then, but I volunteered at school and Nick and I had a meeting after school. I couldn't see going to get him, dropping him off at home in the spare bathroom, and then leaving him alone for five hours, even if he did have blankies, a water dish, food, and a brand new litter box in it.

I never did tell you about the three trips to Petco. The first time, I spent over a hundred dollars. I lost track the second two times. I did not want to know. Plausible deniability, you know. There was the cat pheromone stuff you plug into an outlet to make all the cats happy, Feliway. There was a grassy-smelling additive to attract a kitten to a new litter box, Cat Attract. I bought one of those heating pads that I could never quite tell was working. I get that it can't be too warm, but I had to pile blankets and pillows on it to feel the heat collecting. And in the cool spare bathroom, it was as if it was a shade warmer than the inside of my refrigerator. So, I piled a bunch of blankets onto the heating pad. And there were two little cat beds and toys and a travel carrier. I didn't buy the warm teddy bear with the heartbeat for him to snuggle with. Should I have bought the warm teddy bear with the heartbeat?

I bought at least five kinds of toy  mice. Who needs five kinds of toy mice?

A kitten called Eli/Blitz/Yeager.

Who knew which mouse he would like?

So finally, we finished with our work and headed out pick up the kitten. Shy kitten, terrified kitten, lonely kitten. We absolutely had to make the little guy comfortable. It wouldn't be possible that first night, but how long would it take?

Can you believe that I got everything set up, cat litter and all, and forgot to buy food? So, before we could stop for the kitten, we had to make one more stop at Petco.

What kind of kitten mom am I going to be if I can't remember to buy him food?

Thank you for listening, jb

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