Monday, July 30, 2012

The Source of Stupidity

I messed up my day, just forgetting things.  I'm sleep deprived, seriously.

I forgot that my innocent-looking dog who seemed to be sleeping could shred everything in sight while I was trying to corral two active boys in REI.  I wouldn't have taken them in except I needed Nick's feet for trying on water shoes.  I tried to have Adrian find things for me, but when he couldn't, I found myself looking anyway.  He was correct.  There is no dehydrated chicken at REI.  They have meals, beef stroganoff and chicken teriyaki, but I just wanted plain meat so we could make our own meals.  They're better.  I just checked online at Cabela's and they only show survivalist type food when I searched for dehydrated chicken, 1440 servings.  Oh man, that is just crazy.  Well, it'll seem crazy until something catastrophic happens and those survivalists actually survive.  That would be ironic, now, wouldn't it?  Think about it, it will be their gene pool that is the beginning of the new era of life on Earth. 

So after spending about a million bucks, we sauntered out to the car with our stuff, new water shoes for Nick which I will inherit when he outgrows them, maps of Ross Lake, dry bags for our sleeping bags, a compression stuff sack, and a closed cell foam pad to make the canoe seats more comfortable.  We sauntered.  I even said, "I wonder if Teddy chewed anything up this time" and both boys laughed.

Not the right thing to say.  I had forgotten and left their salads in the car.  The boys got really quiet when I walked around the car looking at the damage.  Teddy tried to crawl under the driver's seat and started panting.  He had chewed the cardboard and plastic wrap for a flat of water, but not the water.  He chewed a box of Kleenex, but not the Kleenex.  He chewed up his ball chucker, but not the ball.  He chewed up both salads that the boys hadn't finished, but not the shrink-wrapped pepperoni sticks lying on top of my backpack.  Nick's salad consisted mostly of onions.  Yup.  Onions.

Two hundred dollars later, a little puking, and a lot of questions about how big a medium onion was and how thick was the slick he might have eaten, Teddy came home.  He was going to be fine.  He was the one who puked and I was the one answering questions about how much onion was on the menu.  I asked about the plastic and the cardboard, feeling a little nauseated myself, but the friendly vet said all that would just pass through as long as the pieces were small enough.  Fiber. 

Then, I got home from all of that and found that I had set the time and temperature on my new dehydrator but never managed to turn it on.  The sugared strawberries were seeping.  Yes, on days when I haven't gotten much sleep, I can be just that stupid.  So, without further ado, I am off to bed.

Thank you for listening, jb

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