I can't believe that I'm painting Teddy's dog tags with nail polish. Doesn't that sound ridiculous? The smell reminds me of all those hours I spent in college with my roommates, painting our nails using three layers the way the manicurists do, and then waiting for an hour or so, doing nothing with our hands, waiting for it to dry. See, I was always impatient, never good at just sitting there. Invariably, my nails would have a smear on my index finger or thumb where I'd tried to turn a page or a doorknob. Here's what I should have learned back then that I didn't: always pee before you do your nails. Better yet, save the money and time on all of that and skip it entirely. The nails are going to chip when you play the piano, cook a good meal, or take a nice long hike. How do nails get chipped hiking? I have no idea, but I was able to do it. I was never good at the girly stuff, though I spent some decades trying. I truly did.
So, you may ask, why am I putting nail polish on the puppy's tags? Good question. He's white, you see, and all that aluminum from his tags rubs off onto his fur by his neck and turns it a dingy gray. Anyone who has spent an afternoon in little white shorts on an aluminum canoe seat can attest to that. What? Did I do that? And on a date too? Oh yes, I did.
In an attempt to keep his fur sparkling like his personality, I'm trying nail polish. Oh, I tried to wash it off his fur, but wet fur just makes it worse. You can refer back to the little white shorts, once wet, on that point. They may turn vaguely transparent in the front, but they grey on the backside is darkened and quite opaque. It explains why all the other girls on the trip had sensibly opted for gray or green camp shorts. Fortunately for me, the only man I was trying to impress didn't mind that habit I had of getting dirty and spilling things and became my husband anyway.
Okay, I have to admit that while I was waiting for the tags to dry, I painted my nails as well. It looks pretty. Ha! The timer on the oven just went off and I need to go put on oven mitts and take out the macaroni and cheese. My nails are going to be smeared. Some things never change, do they?
Thank you for listening, jb
So, you may ask, why am I putting nail polish on the puppy's tags? Good question. He's white, you see, and all that aluminum from his tags rubs off onto his fur by his neck and turns it a dingy gray. Anyone who has spent an afternoon in little white shorts on an aluminum canoe seat can attest to that. What? Did I do that? And on a date too? Oh yes, I did.
In an attempt to keep his fur sparkling like his personality, I'm trying nail polish. Oh, I tried to wash it off his fur, but wet fur just makes it worse. You can refer back to the little white shorts, once wet, on that point. They may turn vaguely transparent in the front, but they grey on the backside is darkened and quite opaque. It explains why all the other girls on the trip had sensibly opted for gray or green camp shorts. Fortunately for me, the only man I was trying to impress didn't mind that habit I had of getting dirty and spilling things and became my husband anyway.
Okay, I have to admit that while I was waiting for the tags to dry, I painted my nails as well. It looks pretty. Ha! The timer on the oven just went off and I need to go put on oven mitts and take out the macaroni and cheese. My nails are going to be smeared. Some things never change, do they?
Thank you for listening, jb
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