Sometimes I'm not sure any more if I really can call myself a Christian. This is what I've been talking to Mike about, calling it my 'crisis of faith.'
I go to church most Sunday's. Hell, I even sing in the choir. I try not to think how hypocritical that makes me. I'm relieved that Mother Theresa had doubts that plagued her and she still did good work. (I want to read that book too, the one about her doubts.) I'm still trying to believe, still trying to do good things.
I just joined a group of women that are reading a book called 'Love Wins,' by Rob Bell. So far, I've read the preface and we've read the first chapter. I introduced myself at the first meeting as the person who came because I like when people read to me.
So far, the book has provided me with some relief by asking what Jesus could I be rejecting, for example, the one that "is antiscience, antigay, standing out on the sidewalk with his bullhorn, telling people they are going to burn forever?"
I grew up going to church, but it has always burned me up that I was supposed to believe that anyone from another religion than mine was going to hell because they had been born to another religion and didn't convert. Really? What about the beauty, the common commandment to love, and the compassion that seems to be the underlying theme of any of the major religions?
My crisis is also about suffering. What about all this damn suffering? My own little family has been struggling for months now with one thing after another. How is that about the love and compassion of God? Is this the wrath of God?
Maybe I'm just tired, too damn tired to write about anything except my doubts.
Thank you for listening, jb
I go to church most Sunday's. Hell, I even sing in the choir. I try not to think how hypocritical that makes me. I'm relieved that Mother Theresa had doubts that plagued her and she still did good work. (I want to read that book too, the one about her doubts.) I'm still trying to believe, still trying to do good things.
I just joined a group of women that are reading a book called 'Love Wins,' by Rob Bell. So far, I've read the preface and we've read the first chapter. I introduced myself at the first meeting as the person who came because I like when people read to me.
So far, the book has provided me with some relief by asking what Jesus could I be rejecting, for example, the one that "is antiscience, antigay, standing out on the sidewalk with his bullhorn, telling people they are going to burn forever?"
I grew up going to church, but it has always burned me up that I was supposed to believe that anyone from another religion than mine was going to hell because they had been born to another religion and didn't convert. Really? What about the beauty, the common commandment to love, and the compassion that seems to be the underlying theme of any of the major religions?
My crisis is also about suffering. What about all this damn suffering? My own little family has been struggling for months now with one thing after another. How is that about the love and compassion of God? Is this the wrath of God?
Maybe I'm just tired, too damn tired to write about anything except my doubts.
Thank you for listening, jb
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