I'm upset.
We took the Cub Scouts on a hike today. It wasn't a long hike to Franklin Falls, but it was beautiful, so if you find yourself on I-90 and you have some extra time, get off at Exit 47 and take a walk to the falls. There are some old growth trees there that I wish I'd had time to really look at. I mean, these were 600 year old trees, standing right there with us. The bunch berry and deer fern looked like someone had planted them. The ravine was pretty too, and when we got to the falls, there was just enough sun to make a rainbow in the mist.
So why am I upset?
There were eight boys and five adults. At the beginning, Mike talked to the boys about trail etiquette. He asked them to hike quietly so other hikers might see some wildlife. Well, I don't think anyone expected that to happen. Ten and eleven year old boys? Right. Then, he told them that for safety reasons, they should stay together and stop at any forks in the trail.
We were only a few hundred feet down the trail when I heard the whistles go off. The boys were screaming, "Emergency! Emergency!" and blowing their whistles as they jumped up and down on a big rock in the river.
No, the noise didn't upset me. I expected it, in fact. Except for the 'emergency' bit, I think that making noise outside is what boys should do.
After they were done screaming and jumping on the big rock, they took off down the trail, all of them except for Nick. He walked with Mike, just ahead of me. I walked along and talked with Adrian's mom. Now, Nick has trouble with elevation gain because of his asthma, even a little bit of elevation gain. We had given him some Xopenex and he was feeling pretty good, but he still slowed down for anything uphill. I was proud of him today. He didn't complain much and he kept his feet moving, even when it was hard for him. And the four of us got to the falls without any problem, except for one.
All of the kids left Nick behind. Every one of them, even Adrian.
Near the falls, they took a fork in the trail, luckily the correct one, and were there at the falls, messing around in the water, when we arrived. Now, the safety part of staying together and not taking a fork in the trail is important for longer hikes. Since they didn't have maps, they could have gotten lost by making that one turn on the trail. That's not very smart when you're hiking with a group of people and you're not carrying a map. Still, they're learning and they're kids. I wish they'd have been kids who could follow directions, but they're kids. I don't think even their parents understood the ramifications of them flouting this important issue when they're hiking in the wilderness. How lost can you get in the Cascade Mountain Range? Pretty lost. The only thing that might save you is that it's hard to bushwhack through the forest around here. Still, some of the trails go on for miles and miles.
No, that wasn't what upset me the most. What broke my heart is that not one of the boys were friends enough with Nick to hang out with him at the back of the pack. Nick said that if it had been just him and the boys, he'd have gone back to the car and gone home. I don't blame him. I wanted to go home myself.
I started daydreaming that they were a little older and one of the boys had his parents' car. They were going hiking somewhere and Nick fell behind on the trail. They left him there, in the middle of nowhere and Nick had to call us to come pick him up. I could see that happening.
I know that I don't get to choose Nick's friends these days. We're in that awkward phase in which Mike and I still have some influence, but it's falling away. I see myself watching how Adrian treats Nick like a best friend when they're alone together, but sometimes he ignores Nick when the 'cool' kids are around. Will their friendship last through very much of that? I worry about Adrian too. If he hangs out with these kids, will he get caught up in doing something that he regrets?
I trust Nick. I really do. He has common sense. He doesn't want to get into trouble or get hurt. When Nick and Adrian are together, I trust them too, for the most part. What I worry about is what will happen with them when they're with people who push the limits and expect them to as well. The funny thing is that I think I already know how this daydream will play out. Nick will be slow to decide and the kids will leave him behind to do whatever they're up to. Nick will find a way home. Adrian will stick with the crowd and run into trouble a couple of times and, hopefully, figure out that friends aren't people who try to make you do dangerous things. I just hope Nick and Adrian's friendship can withstand the stress of that difference between them.
Both boys will eventually figure out who their real friends are and stick with them. Eventually. Oh, that's one of the worst things about being eleven - all those years of jockeying between people to find your true friends.
Okay, so I won't know how the future is going to work out for Nick, but what I saw today hurt. It's hard to be left behind by people you thought were your friends. It's hard, too, to watch your boy getting left behind and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.
Thank you for listening, jb
We took the Cub Scouts on a hike today. It wasn't a long hike to Franklin Falls, but it was beautiful, so if you find yourself on I-90 and you have some extra time, get off at Exit 47 and take a walk to the falls. There are some old growth trees there that I wish I'd had time to really look at. I mean, these were 600 year old trees, standing right there with us. The bunch berry and deer fern looked like someone had planted them. The ravine was pretty too, and when we got to the falls, there was just enough sun to make a rainbow in the mist.
So why am I upset?
There were eight boys and five adults. At the beginning, Mike talked to the boys about trail etiquette. He asked them to hike quietly so other hikers might see some wildlife. Well, I don't think anyone expected that to happen. Ten and eleven year old boys? Right. Then, he told them that for safety reasons, they should stay together and stop at any forks in the trail.
We were only a few hundred feet down the trail when I heard the whistles go off. The boys were screaming, "Emergency! Emergency!" and blowing their whistles as they jumped up and down on a big rock in the river.
No, the noise didn't upset me. I expected it, in fact. Except for the 'emergency' bit, I think that making noise outside is what boys should do.
After they were done screaming and jumping on the big rock, they took off down the trail, all of them except for Nick. He walked with Mike, just ahead of me. I walked along and talked with Adrian's mom. Now, Nick has trouble with elevation gain because of his asthma, even a little bit of elevation gain. We had given him some Xopenex and he was feeling pretty good, but he still slowed down for anything uphill. I was proud of him today. He didn't complain much and he kept his feet moving, even when it was hard for him. And the four of us got to the falls without any problem, except for one.
All of the kids left Nick behind. Every one of them, even Adrian.
Near the falls, they took a fork in the trail, luckily the correct one, and were there at the falls, messing around in the water, when we arrived. Now, the safety part of staying together and not taking a fork in the trail is important for longer hikes. Since they didn't have maps, they could have gotten lost by making that one turn on the trail. That's not very smart when you're hiking with a group of people and you're not carrying a map. Still, they're learning and they're kids. I wish they'd have been kids who could follow directions, but they're kids. I don't think even their parents understood the ramifications of them flouting this important issue when they're hiking in the wilderness. How lost can you get in the Cascade Mountain Range? Pretty lost. The only thing that might save you is that it's hard to bushwhack through the forest around here. Still, some of the trails go on for miles and miles.
No, that wasn't what upset me the most. What broke my heart is that not one of the boys were friends enough with Nick to hang out with him at the back of the pack. Nick said that if it had been just him and the boys, he'd have gone back to the car and gone home. I don't blame him. I wanted to go home myself.
I started daydreaming that they were a little older and one of the boys had his parents' car. They were going hiking somewhere and Nick fell behind on the trail. They left him there, in the middle of nowhere and Nick had to call us to come pick him up. I could see that happening.
I know that I don't get to choose Nick's friends these days. We're in that awkward phase in which Mike and I still have some influence, but it's falling away. I see myself watching how Adrian treats Nick like a best friend when they're alone together, but sometimes he ignores Nick when the 'cool' kids are around. Will their friendship last through very much of that? I worry about Adrian too. If he hangs out with these kids, will he get caught up in doing something that he regrets?
I trust Nick. I really do. He has common sense. He doesn't want to get into trouble or get hurt. When Nick and Adrian are together, I trust them too, for the most part. What I worry about is what will happen with them when they're with people who push the limits and expect them to as well. The funny thing is that I think I already know how this daydream will play out. Nick will be slow to decide and the kids will leave him behind to do whatever they're up to. Nick will find a way home. Adrian will stick with the crowd and run into trouble a couple of times and, hopefully, figure out that friends aren't people who try to make you do dangerous things. I just hope Nick and Adrian's friendship can withstand the stress of that difference between them.
Both boys will eventually figure out who their real friends are and stick with them. Eventually. Oh, that's one of the worst things about being eleven - all those years of jockeying between people to find your true friends.
Okay, so I won't know how the future is going to work out for Nick, but what I saw today hurt. It's hard to be left behind by people you thought were your friends. It's hard, too, to watch your boy getting left behind and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.
Thank you for listening, jb
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