Friday, May 20, 2011

A Eulogy for a Not-Quite Deceased Hamster

Nick has a hamster named Tuffcake.  She is a really sweet hamster except for the one time Mike, my husband, tried to clean her house wearing latex gloves and she got really scared and bit him.  Mike hasn't had anything to do with Tuffcake since that incident.  I had forgotten to tell him my modus operandi - always bring food to the hamster when you think she might get scared.  To her credit, Tuffcake never once bit anyone else. I was careful when kids wanted to play with her, but I noticed that Nick was less careful. She seemed to like being picked up, even going into her little portable carrier to visit Nick's room or better yet, the front yard where she got to eat real grass.

Last fall, something shifted in the house and three mice were able to sneak in while we weren't looking.  I cleaned and sanitized the whole house, bought $137.00 worth of traps, and set Buddy and Seth, the two cats, about taking care of them. Buddy just watched, but in the time the traps caught one mouse, Seth had two down. He was so proud of himself.

I couldn't help but note the irony that we took in this small hamster rodent and happily played with her, fed her, provided a home and a portable carrier, and even cleaned up after her. Yet, I wasn't able to share my big house with the likes of three tiny mice.  I tell you, it's the mouse I fed in my basement when I was a kid. She was very cute with big round ears and a twitchy nose. But she had a litter in the Christmas ornaments, chewed up a lot of them, and we had to throw away some of my favorites that we'd collected over the years. I hadn't been quite able to forgive the mouse species for that loss. When you add the fact that our area supports the Hanta virus, I have closed my mind against them. No mice allowed.  I know it's bigotry to love hamsters but to hate mice, but there you are.

Tuffcake loved eating Brussels sprouts and green beans.  She was a good role model for eating a healthy diet and I paid attention. She liked fruit and greens and even an occasional kitty kibble. Her downfall was unsalted peanuts. She ran 4 1/2 miles every night. We did invest in one of those squeakless wheels, but ended up with a cheap metal one that we sprayed with vegetable oil when it got loud. I was inspired by her lifestyle.

Despite her healthy habits, Tuffcake got a tumor at Christmas. At first, it just looked like she'd stored a bit of food in her left pouch. But by Valentine's Day, it was as if she carried a basketball under her front left paw. In the last couple of days, it's been more like a hamster-sized suitcase. Up until two days ago, she carried her suitcase around, checked her bars, ran just a little less on the wheel and ate any good snacks she was offered. 

Tonight, she's dying. I know I shouldn't, but I'm not going to tell Nick what's happening until after we get back from Mom and Me Cub Scout camp on Sunday afternoon. I brought Tuffcake into his room tonight, and she perked up and looked up at him sweetly and tried to pretend for a minute that it didn't hurt. I know it was all she could do. I sat on the couch for an hour as she panted with her eyes closed.  I had to put her back into her house while I packed our stuff for the camping trip.  We leave early tomorrow morning and Nicky knows that she isn't well, but doesn't know yet that she's dying.

Mike's going to be her only friend for a couple of days. I hope they make their peace. But to be honest, I hope that when I get a moment to sit tonight before bedtime, that Tuffcake can sit in her soft blankets on my lap and breathe her last in the hands of someone who loves her.

I will miss her sweet face peering out at me when I couldn't sleep. I will miss the gentle way she leaned on my hands to eat the treats I offered her. Nicky will miss carrying her on adventures where she could use her laser sights to shoot missiles out of the front of her ship. 

Thank you for listening, jb

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