Wednesday, February 4, 2015

The Revenge of Chicken Neck

Good morning.

Can I just go back to bed now? Can I? I think I have a sore throat. My eyes are gummy. I'm supposed to get a mammogram today. I could call the mammogram people and beg to reschedule because I could be contagious. Then the whole procedure would still be hanging over my head. To tell you the truth, I think I got a pill stuck in my throat yesterday and it's still hanging there. But I didn't sleep well. My mouth is dry. My car is low on gas. It's a full moon. Do I still have to go to my appointment anyway?

Mike calls it the smash and grab, the boob crusher, or man's revenge. I'm not sure what it's revenge for. Probably, all those years ago, some cute girl in seventh grade called a geeky boy 'chicken neck' because he was skinny and had dry skin. And since that geek boy was the one who invented the mammogram, his subconscious just wanted to smash the mammies right off that girl. One man's revenge.

Can you think of any other reason that a man could justify smashing the pumpkins of a few million women every year? Can you?


I wonder if there is a special hell for that geek boy? I wonder if he'll be in hell with that cute girl yelling "chicken neck, chicken neck, CHICKEN NECK!" for all of eternity, plus flames, despair and agony on him, deep dark depression, excessive misery.

Thank you for listening, jb

No comments:

Post a Comment