Friday, March 14, 2014

Insomnia, Loud Music, and Fighting Fat Jokes

Mike was home today because he didn't sleep last night. I'm back to the days during which I worry.

Can you die of insomnia? It sounds like a stupid question, but it's not. I know that heart disease is linked to insomnia, so I guess I answered my own question. Mike got a bad case of insomnia because of some medicine he was on. Then, he had a heart attack. Now, he's having trouble with one of the medicines the doctor put him on, his beta-blocker. The thing is that he says he can feel the benefits of the beta-blocker. Yet, it doesn't allow him to sleep.

It sucks to worry.

In the meantime, we're trying to keep things fairly normal for Nick. He had some friends over tonight and they played about four hours of video games. At one point, they asked me to put the radio onto their favorite pop station. Then they asked me to turn the sound up. The sound went up.

It's interesting to note that I'm more deaf than I've ever been, but I get so tired of loud music. I have no interest in going to clubs, to bars, or even to hear live music. Oh, a guitar or acoustic music would be okay, but an electric guitar and the accompanying drums, bass, and distortion would drive me away.

Why is that? I used to love loud music. Sometimes I still do, but most of the time, it feels like too much work.

Why would it feel like work?

I can see that it's a good night to complain. Sorry about that.

I'm listening to a new audio book, 'Skinny' by Donna Cooner. It's a young adult novel. So far, I like the story, one about a young girl who is overweight and is overwhelmed by the terrible things she thinks people think about her. I just want to jump right in there and tell the author that it's so real and so hard, but she has to get the girl through without making her 'triumph' by losing weight and thus getting back at all her tormenters. I want to make her write a better ending to the cliched story and instead write the story where she figures out that people love her whatever way she is, that people love her enough to see her pain and help her heal that instead. Oh, I have such hopes for this book.

Will I be overjoyed or disappointed? I don't know yet. The funny thing is that I hate spoilers, so I wouldn't be able to tell you even when I finish the book. That's why, most of the time, I write these reviews while I'm still in the middle of the book.

The good thing is that I love these characters that Morton has created. I love the voice, a voice that rings true to what a girl in that situation would think. In fact, I almost remember a voice like that ringing through my head when I was a girl. It told me all the things that were wrong with me and what bad things people could be thinking about me. Does every girl hear that voice? Oh, I hope not, but I suspect that many do.

Oh, I'm losing it here.

I just wish I could start a cultural revolution, something like the Dove real beauty commercials, only with size sixteen and eighteen people in the ads instead of tens and twelves. Since when is a woman who's a size ten fat? Have you been listening to all that? People are saying that Jennifer Lawrence is fat. There is no way that woman is fat. She's perfect. She's incredibly perfect.

I want to see more women like Rebel Wilson and Melissa McCarthy in the movies, only I don't want to see them making fun of themselves. I've had enough of that. I've always loved Kathleen Bates for the roles she plays. She didn't make fun of herself. Why can't more people be like that?

Why is it okay to make fun of people who are fat? Why is that funny? Why?

As far as I can see, it's bigoted and cruel. That's all.

Thank you for listening, jb

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