Monday, November 12, 2012

Parental Amnesia

I have amnesia. 

I have forgotten the way I could sit and watch television all day, even when nothing was on five channels, because I didn't want to have to think about anything else.

I have forgotten the feeling I had that everything worth discovering had already been found.

I have forgotten the fear and hatred of the cool kids who teased me when I was a zitty, awkward kid in junior high.

I have forgotten the resentment of helping around the house when I could be playing or daydreaming instead. 

I have forgotten what it's like to feel like a child one minute and then so damned sophisticated the next.

I have forgotten what it was like to pass my parents by as I grew up.

Oh, it was more complicated than that.  It always is.  There's a story in all these things I experienced and maybe I'll tell them some day.

For my boy Nick, there's a different story and I'm not really going to get to tell much of it, though it's my job to stand here and watch.  Some days are hard to watch.

Thank you for listening, jb

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