Monday, April 15, 2013

I'm Awake

I was snuggled into my recliner, prepared to augment the 4 1/2 hours of sleep I got last night with a nap when Nick announced that he wanted to go get a haircut. 

Now, the weather has been all over the map today. This morning, it was sunny and fifty-five degrees. Then, when I got as far as I could from my car on the walk with Teddy, it started to rain. I got soaking wet since I'd only brought a hooded sweatshirt instead of my trusty three-quarter length rain jacket. The temperature plummeted too so that when I got back into my car and started it, it announced that the temperature was forty-three degrees. I'm surprised it didn't have a chirpy little frowny face programmed next to it on the dashboard. :< It took me a while to get warm and dry when I got home and that lack of sleep caught up to me. Oh, when I sat down, I got so comfortable. You know the feeling I'm talking about. You've been cold, hungry, wet, and sleepless for a what seems like a century and when you finally get all four parts taken care of, you immediately slip into a state of semi-consciousness that just might be better than sex at that particular moment. That is a sad commentary about my insomnia, isn't it?

"Mom, I want to go get my hair cut," Nick said, pulling me up out of the downy sleep I was sliding into.

"What?" I said. Had I been drooling?

"I want to go get my hair cut." I thought about that for a minute and hedged my bets. Nick had Scouts at 6:30. If he procrastinated enough, I could stay where I was. He needed a hair cut. I needed a nap. Whose need was more important?

"Okay, here's the deal. You let me sleep and you get all the way ready. I just need to grab my keys and I'll be ready to go. You're not going to wake me up until you're sitting there, ready to go, with your shoes on and your EpiPens and inhaler in your pockets. Deal?"


And so I drifted off to sleep. Five minutes later, Nick handed me a moist towelette packet and asked me to open it for him.

"Really? You couldn't open this by yourself?" I fell back asleep easily, wondering why he needed a moist towelette to get ready to get a hair cut.

"Shoot!" he said.

Okay, I was awake. Seven more minutes had passed. I said nothing and tried to close my eyes again.

"It isn't working."

"Nick, you need to let me sleep."

"This game still isn't working."

"I thought you wanted to get a hair cut."

"I do, but this game isn't working."

"That's not my area," I told him. "Call your dad." And I went back to sleep.

Six minutes later, I woke to the sound of paper rattling next to my head.

"Can you do that somewhere else?" I mumbled.

"I can't play my game, so I'm writing Dad a note to fix it."

"I don't care what you're doing. Don't do it next to my head while I'm trying to sleep."

It went on this way in four minute intervals. Nick stomped around my chair. He always stomps. He crinkled his paper a few more times and grumbled loudly about the game. Then, there was thunder and lightning. The dog shook his collar. The cat jumped into my lap. When Mike walked up the stairs, I was awake and wondering if a forty-five minute nap dispensed in four to seven minute intervals does anything for a body. Probably not. It's why the lights, sirens, and loud music was such an effective torture at concentration camps. At times like this, I wonder if a person can die from being woken up. Mike was cheerful, but not particularly quiet, and Nick was still stomping around. I gave up on the idea of a nap and sat up.

"Dad, I want to get a hair cut."

"That's a good idea," Mike said, looking at me.

"I told him I'd take him," I said, "and I was trying to get a nap in while he was getting ready. So far, I've waited forty-five minutes."

"That's a pretty good nap," Mike said. I didn't slap him. I tried to lean back and slide down into my blanket again, but just then, hail began to play high hat rhythms on our sky lights.

"Oh man," I said and sat upright.

"I'm ready mom. I've been waiting for you," Nick said, grinning at his dad.

"You don't have your shoes on," I said, but I got up, grabbed my keys, and headed for the door. Just as I opened the front door, rain began to pour down despite the shining sun. There was a rainbow somewhere but I didn't care. My trusty three-quarter rain coat sat waiting for me on the floor of my car, fifty feet away. As I pulled out of the drive way, lightning struck some distance away and it took a few seconds for thunder to rumble over our heads.

"I'm awake," I said.

Thank you for listening, jb

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