I've been watching reruns of Prince William's marriage to Kate Middleton. I didn't stay up last night to see it, but I've let the BBC Highlights go round and round all afternoon. I'm not sure why it's so fascinating. Maybe it's the princess archetype, the procession of hideous hats, watching Elton John looking like a frumpy old man mumbling hymns, or maybe it's the trees inside Westminster Abbey.
No. That's not quite it. It's the story, really, beginning with the innocence of Diana as sunlight shone through her simple dress. Then there was her lavish wedding in which her elaborate dress hung back, tugging at her as that young girl pulled it gamely to the altar. But the Prince waiting for her seemed strangely stiff and awkward. And then there was the princess we loved to watch, the adoring mother, the philanthropist, her tragic rejection, her recovery, and then her shocking death. We didn't want her story to be over and now it is not.
In this wedding, we have a different beginning. During the ceremony, Prince William would catch Kate's eye and almost laugh. Is that what we want to see to prove that the love is there, that it will last? Kate isn't royalty and somehow that reinforces that little-girl dream of becoming a princess. She was sweet to watch, elegantly dressed, and kept looking at William, not with wonder, but with familiarity, as if he was the anchor that kept her in place. Her dress didn't take over, but suited her small frame, a simple elegance in the ostentatious setting. Prince William looks so much like his mother, it made him fascinating to watch.
So, why did I go to a friend's house with tea and chocolate and watch this ritual? Why did we make facebook names for ourselves? (I was Lady Margie Pepper-Rock, a combination of grandparents, pets, and streets.) Why did I bring my son in later, to watch men on horseback in armor with swords drawn? Why did I keep watching it again and again until my husband got hold of the remote control?
I think it's because the princess archetype still lives. The restrictions on virginity and royalty have been removed, but it's still a dream to imagine that walk down the aisle in a thousand year old abbey. As a little girl, I'd put my stuffed toys in two short rows of folding chairs with an aisle in between. I used a pillowcase as a veil and a wrinkled sheet waiting to be ironed over my shoulders as my dress and its train. I would walk down that aisle and close my eyes and imagine my prince standing there, waiting just for me.
My own wedding was very different. I was married in the open air at an Eagle Scout altar by the river. The altar was hung with fuchsia baskets and surrounded by potted sword ferns. I wore a simple white wedding dress but no veil. We invited forty people, hired a justice of the peace, a bluegrass band played, and afterward, we had a barbecue with homemade ice cream and cherry pie. At the end, I went into a tent to change clothes, then my husband and I paddled down the river in our canoe. We honeymooned on the Allagash River in Maine with our dog. I loved our wedding. It suited us and whenever I go to an elaborate church wedding, I am glad at the one my husband and I had together. I wouldn't have changed a thing about it.
Yet, I am drawn into this royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. I remember the princess I imagined myself to be. I remember the prince. I remember my dress, the flowers, the rows of pews with my favorite people in them, and the carriage. Yes, the princess archetype is still alive in me, even now. That must be why I'm so intrigued by all of this fanfare.
And don't forget the crazy hats.
Thank you for listening, jb
No. That's not quite it. It's the story, really, beginning with the innocence of Diana as sunlight shone through her simple dress. Then there was her lavish wedding in which her elaborate dress hung back, tugging at her as that young girl pulled it gamely to the altar. But the Prince waiting for her seemed strangely stiff and awkward. And then there was the princess we loved to watch, the adoring mother, the philanthropist, her tragic rejection, her recovery, and then her shocking death. We didn't want her story to be over and now it is not.
In this wedding, we have a different beginning. During the ceremony, Prince William would catch Kate's eye and almost laugh. Is that what we want to see to prove that the love is there, that it will last? Kate isn't royalty and somehow that reinforces that little-girl dream of becoming a princess. She was sweet to watch, elegantly dressed, and kept looking at William, not with wonder, but with familiarity, as if he was the anchor that kept her in place. Her dress didn't take over, but suited her small frame, a simple elegance in the ostentatious setting. Prince William looks so much like his mother, it made him fascinating to watch.
So, why did I go to a friend's house with tea and chocolate and watch this ritual? Why did we make facebook names for ourselves? (I was Lady Margie Pepper-Rock, a combination of grandparents, pets, and streets.) Why did I bring my son in later, to watch men on horseback in armor with swords drawn? Why did I keep watching it again and again until my husband got hold of the remote control?
I think it's because the princess archetype still lives. The restrictions on virginity and royalty have been removed, but it's still a dream to imagine that walk down the aisle in a thousand year old abbey. As a little girl, I'd put my stuffed toys in two short rows of folding chairs with an aisle in between. I used a pillowcase as a veil and a wrinkled sheet waiting to be ironed over my shoulders as my dress and its train. I would walk down that aisle and close my eyes and imagine my prince standing there, waiting just for me.
My own wedding was very different. I was married in the open air at an Eagle Scout altar by the river. The altar was hung with fuchsia baskets and surrounded by potted sword ferns. I wore a simple white wedding dress but no veil. We invited forty people, hired a justice of the peace, a bluegrass band played, and afterward, we had a barbecue with homemade ice cream and cherry pie. At the end, I went into a tent to change clothes, then my husband and I paddled down the river in our canoe. We honeymooned on the Allagash River in Maine with our dog. I loved our wedding. It suited us and whenever I go to an elaborate church wedding, I am glad at the one my husband and I had together. I wouldn't have changed a thing about it.
Yet, I am drawn into this royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. I remember the princess I imagined myself to be. I remember the prince. I remember my dress, the flowers, the rows of pews with my favorite people in them, and the carriage. Yes, the princess archetype is still alive in me, even now. That must be why I'm so intrigued by all of this fanfare.
And don't forget the crazy hats.
Thank you for listening, jb
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