Does it bother you that I've been writing crap? It bothers me, but I've decided that I'm just going to have to write some crap for a while since it's either crap or nothing. That's what I've got to give you, either crap or nothing.
I'm trying to finish a big project and instead, I've been playing games on my iPhone. Did I ever tell you how much I love my iPhone? One of Nick's friends was complaining about iPhones tonight on the way home from a karate and what I heard was that he hates them, mostly because all of his friends have one and he doesn't. That's a good one, isn't it? I think that kind of thirteen-year-old logic persists in most people throughout adulthood. I know I use it sometimes, probably more often than I realize.
I love my iPhone, but I've been trying to figure out whether I play mindless games when I'm mentally stuck or if I get stuck by playing to many mindless games on my iPhone. I'm not sure I'll ever know. I go through these phases, see, but even when it's beginning to end, am I actually coming unstuck when I finally slow back down to playing mindless games at a normal rate or do I have to put my foot down on that mindlessness in order to become unstuck? These are the mysteries of life that I fear I will never know.
It's like that with writing crap too. After a while, I make myself keep writing and eventually, out pops a nugget, something that I actually like. So here you go. Crap! Yet another of life's mysteries, though I doubt you'll get a nugget tonight, not that kind of nugget anyway.
I carry a particular theory in my heart when it comes to life's mysteries. I like to think that when I die and my soul leaves my body, it doesn't go to the 'great beyond' the way everybody thinks it does. I like to think that it reconnects to everything that is, that my blindness will fall away and that I will suddenly know, really know, how all those socks can get lost in the dryer and never reappear or how I can lose something like my keys in my purse one minute and the next minute, they are there, right where they were supposed to be, usually after I've gotten the whole household running frantically around the house to help me find my keys.
Think of the look on Cate Blanchett's face in 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' when the aliens give her that vision to know everything that is. That's the look I will have when I find out what happens to that ten minutes between when I put on my shoes and when I pull out of the driveway on my way somewhere. I will know, in those moments, that there really is a problem with the space-time continuum in certain places and I have experienced it. I will also know all the messages my dog, Teddy, has so patiently been trying to give me when he tilts his head just so or turns away just as the camera app on my iPhone has finally loaded and is ready to snap another photo of him smiling on our walks. Yes, Cate Blanchett is an amazing actress. She has that look down perfectly, the agony of finding out what happened to all of those socks and why I have to write so much terrible crap before I can give you one tiny gold nugget of words on the page.
Thank you for listening, jb
I'm trying to finish a big project and instead, I've been playing games on my iPhone. Did I ever tell you how much I love my iPhone? One of Nick's friends was complaining about iPhones tonight on the way home from a karate and what I heard was that he hates them, mostly because all of his friends have one and he doesn't. That's a good one, isn't it? I think that kind of thirteen-year-old logic persists in most people throughout adulthood. I know I use it sometimes, probably more often than I realize.
I love my iPhone, but I've been trying to figure out whether I play mindless games when I'm mentally stuck or if I get stuck by playing to many mindless games on my iPhone. I'm not sure I'll ever know. I go through these phases, see, but even when it's beginning to end, am I actually coming unstuck when I finally slow back down to playing mindless games at a normal rate or do I have to put my foot down on that mindlessness in order to become unstuck? These are the mysteries of life that I fear I will never know.
It's like that with writing crap too. After a while, I make myself keep writing and eventually, out pops a nugget, something that I actually like. So here you go. Crap! Yet another of life's mysteries, though I doubt you'll get a nugget tonight, not that kind of nugget anyway.
I carry a particular theory in my heart when it comes to life's mysteries. I like to think that when I die and my soul leaves my body, it doesn't go to the 'great beyond' the way everybody thinks it does. I like to think that it reconnects to everything that is, that my blindness will fall away and that I will suddenly know, really know, how all those socks can get lost in the dryer and never reappear or how I can lose something like my keys in my purse one minute and the next minute, they are there, right where they were supposed to be, usually after I've gotten the whole household running frantically around the house to help me find my keys.
Think of the look on Cate Blanchett's face in 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' when the aliens give her that vision to know everything that is. That's the look I will have when I find out what happens to that ten minutes between when I put on my shoes and when I pull out of the driveway on my way somewhere. I will know, in those moments, that there really is a problem with the space-time continuum in certain places and I have experienced it. I will also know all the messages my dog, Teddy, has so patiently been trying to give me when he tilts his head just so or turns away just as the camera app on my iPhone has finally loaded and is ready to snap another photo of him smiling on our walks. Yes, Cate Blanchett is an amazing actress. She has that look down perfectly, the agony of finding out what happened to all of those socks and why I have to write so much terrible crap before I can give you one tiny gold nugget of words on the page.
Thank you for listening, jb
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