Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Lying and Superstitions

I'm not generally a superstitious person, but Mike and I both have this crazy feeling about Nick's nebulizer.  It's an ugly white compressor with a long hose hanging out of it that usually sits in the nest of power cords at my end of the couch.  Both of us feel that if we put it away, Nick's going to get sick again.  Well, I put it away in a fit of cleaning in June and it took all summer to pass before it came true.  I try not to believe this sad superstition, but I do.

Here's another one - if I'm taking a sick day to play, then I'll probably get sick.  I just wrote an email to Nick's teacher to tell him that we're letting Nick skip school tomorrow afternoon to go to the state fair with Adrian and his family.  It was embarrassing telling the truth, but I knew the truth would come out anyway and that would feel worse. 

Nick's teacher is a tall, broad-shouldered man who could be intimidating if he wanted to, but he's actually a little shy with parents, holding his hands in front of himself and nodding his head a lot.  He's really trying to connect with the kids in his classroom and to teach them to want a good education for themselves.  I get the feeling that this is the teacher that Nick will remember for the rest of his life as that guy who really took the time to understand him and challenge him.  This makes me really hate sounding like an idiot in front of him.  Now Nickie is coughing and I had to get out the nebulizer to give him some Xopenex for his breathing.  I sat on the edge of his bed, holding the tube toward his nose and mouth and tried to keep him from waking all the way up.  I loved how Nick's warm hand wrapped around my waist while I leaned over him.  I'm not sure he's going to the fair after all.  It figures.  Take a sick day and you're going to get sick.

It might not have been so bad for Nick to go to the fair, but they're taking him to a weird Al Yankovic concert there and Adrian's dad said they are going 'rain or shine.'  It's going to be late when the concert gets out.  You take a kid like Nick, send him somewhere a little bit sick, spin him, get him wet, and keep him up late, and you'll have a full-blown situation on your hands.  Missing a half day of school is one thing.  Missing a week because we were goofing around is another. 

Good thing I didn't try to lie to this teacher.  I could have imagined Nick at school on Friday talking about how funny the Weird Al concert was and I knew I couldn't lie.  It would be so transparent as to indicate that either I thought he was stupid or that I was colossally stupid.  The truth really does come out, at least for me.  Some other person might be able to hide four murders and the theft of 3 million dollars, but I can't lie to Nick's teacher about an afternoon spent using a dizzy pass to go spinning on carnival rides.

Still, I am not an all-believer in teaching kids to tell the truth all of the time. I think lying is great for when you're trying to protect yourself or your family.  "No, my dad's in his office working and can't come to the phone." 

Sometimes it's okay so that you can protect your time, like when someone wants you to volunteer for one more thing and you want to stay home and read your book for a change.   Lying is valuable when you're trying to protect someone's feelings.  "Does this dress make my butt look big?"

But lying changes character whenever anyone is going to get hurt or cheated and that's when I'm just not good at it.  Maybe that's a good thing. 

We'll see what happens tomorrow. Will my superstitions come true? 

Thank you for listening, jb

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