Jewelry

I've given up trying to control my jewelry. I know that sounds crazy. Well, now the secret is out: I am not normal. It's no use trying.

So, I wear different jewelry for different occasions. Everybody does, but I use my jewelry to remember people and ideas. I seldom wear anything purely for decoration. Decorating me won't help anyway. Let's just say that for people who love me, my looks don't come into it.

I've gotten into the habit of wearing my dangly turtle earrings when I want to slow down. My canoes are for when I expect to be overwhelmed and I figure they'll help me float through. I have the red pebble earrings my husband gave me for Christmas that have another meaning. I once wrote a poem

Sometimes, I'm afraid
You'll open me and find
Not jewels inside,
But little rocks
Instead.

My little red rocks are about that poem. Insecurity days.

I wear my little gold penguins when I need to be cheerful working with the children in my son's class. Sometimes I wear my moose instead. They're pretty cheerful. Have you ever listened to a moose eat??? The story of my husband and I in the canoe, watching the moose eat and trying to stay silent, is for another day.

I have a lapis lazuli pendant that makes me think of my sweet Vivvie, the dog I loved and lost so quickly. Vivvie was like a little girl who had grown too tall too quickly. She made the house shake when she romped around, playing with the cat. Now, I imagine her wearing a pink tutu and dancing the waltz with him in the living room.

I have an amber pendant that my husband gave me for Christmas three days before I knew I was pregnant. A friend of mine had a powerful microscope and we found a seed in that amber, so I wear it to remember that fragile time when I survived more than a year of wondering if I was ever going to have a baby.

The only jewelry I wear every day is my wedding ring. My husband had it designed for me by Rick Miller at gemdesignjewelers.com. It has a piece of alexandrite in it with a single flaw and shines green in fluorescent light and fuchsia in natural or incandescent light. I guess now that we're converted, it shines green more often. It took them three months to find that stone for him. I like that it has a flaw so you see either green or fuchsia no matter what light you're in. It reminds me that the light shines more beautifully through anything that isn't perfect.

So a couple of years ago, I had to have my ring sized. Again. They had to do it carefully since my ring consisted of the engagement ring together with my wedding band. Since the bands were swirled to fit together, it was going to take a little more time to redo. It felt so strange having nothing on my finger that they gave me a simple gold band to wear while I was waiting, like a loaner car. Can you believe that? I started to see that simple band as representing my son. I have no idea why. So when it was time to get my ring back, I turned it into them with the little gold band and told them to add it to my wedding ring permanently. Now my wedding ring has three bands, one for each of us. I only take it off to make hamburger patties.

I have dog earrings that are about my old dog, Georgie, who walked with me everywhere, who protected me, and who could say "Aurora" when she asked for a cookie. I have a pendant that reminds me of my grandpa who liked to tell stories. And I have a couple of pair of swirly earrings that remind me to be cheerful on my journey.

I used to try to wear beautiful jewelry that matched my outfit. I tried to buy pretty baubles that were stylish. I've given up. My jewelry needs to mean something, to remind me how to be, to help me get through, and make me remember the people who love me the best. That's not a bad reason, don't you think?

Thank you for listening, jb